It has been too long since I last wrote… Since then, I have quit smoking. Thanks be to God for my roommate Katie. She held my cigarettes hostage for a week and I quit on New Year’s Eve.
I had my little sister, (who isn’t really my little sister) over for the weekend. She is sixteen. She revealed to me that she had been allowed to smoke sometimes when she was stressed out.
My greatest fear; she is only sixteen! I have known her and her older sister and mother for several years. When I first met the sisters, they were young, impressionable, and innocent. I tried to mentor or set a good example for them both. I did not spend much time with them over the past year.
Since then, the eighteen year old has been failed out of college, smokes daily, (illegal stuff too), and she drinks and drives; riding around with boys on a regular basis. I felt horrible; somewhat responsible. I felt like I was supposed to be there for them and I wasn’t. I have to realize that God has them, not me. Yes I can influence them, yes I can set an example. That is about all I can do. I can’t control anyone but myself. One of the greatest realizations I have had is that God does a way better job than I ever could. Sometimes that means He works through me, but I personally cannot fix ANYONE. And if someone is going to do something, I can’t stop them. I can choose not to enable, I can choose to cut them off, I can choose to guide or give advice, but that is really the extent of what I should do.
I am not capable, God is. I am not able, God is.
So where does this all fall into place for my story?
I didn’t know that the younger sister had been allowed to smoke until she came over that weekend (which happen to be the weekend I was quitting… In fact the very day).
That was a great reason to really take quitting seriously. I wanted to show my little sister that I did not need cigarettes to help me cope and that I was going to conquer my addiction with God and friends.
That night I broke the rest of the cigarettes in my pack in front of her at my roommate’s request.
What a powerful moment for God’s glory.
Today it has been officially 21 days since smoking has been out of my life!