"Then you will
call, and the LORD will answer; You will cry, and He will say, 'Here I am ' If
you remove the yoke from your midst, The pointing of the finger and speaking
wickedness, And if you give yourself to the hungry And satisfy the desire of the
afflicted, Then your light will rise in darkness And your gloom will become
like midday. And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire
in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a
watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.”
We all have a deep urge to feel accepted. Maybe you don’t
realize it yet, or maybe you are lying to yourself. The empty spot is there
though. The God sized hole that only God can fill.
People let you down. You can’t blame them. They are human like
you. Surely you have disappointed, not measured up, or let someone down at some
point in your life. Or maybe you are lying to yourself about that too. That is
probably because you are putting the expectations meant for God on people who
are just as broken as you are.
I am not trying to tell you that you “are” disappointing, or
you “don’t measure up”, these are merely feelings I myself have experienced by
the misplacement of expectations on those around me. Family, friends, spouses…
It is unfair to expect them to be your everything, your all in all. No matter
how badly they want to be that for you, it is just human nature that they can’t
be perfect. We all fall, we all fail. We all make mistakes and feel ashamed.
Some of us are blessed to have friends and family that love us through the
mess. Some of us are less fortunate. But the Good News is that there is One
that will never let you down and will never stop loving you no matter how much
you mess up.
Where can I find someone like that you ask? A perfect human?
No such thing except for one Man who was God wrapped in flesh. His name is
Jesus. He humbled Himself to come experience life and do it perfectly, so we
wouldn’t have to.
If you don’t know this Jesus, I encourage you to get to know Him. He never fails. He is the perfect Everything. And He loves you for you.
You’ve been aching, I know. I too ached and still have
moments where I want to feel precious, cherished, loved unconditionally. Been
then I learned the Truth. I am precious, I am cherished, I am
loved unconditionally by the All Knowing, Limitless, Mighty King of Kings. You
don’t see Him? You don’t feel Him? I know it is hard to believe when our finite
minds try to grasp the concept. We are used to just the people we see around us
and we don’t need to have faith to believe they exist.
So, if you started dating someone, you would get to know
them. Talk to them. Maybe read up on them (I am kind of like that, want to make
sure they aren’t a serial killer or something!). I don’t always know how to
explain the Father, Greatest Love, Brother concept that the Trinity envelops,
but here is what I do know.
Those of you who don’t have a strong Father figure in your
life, I encourage you to ask someone who does have one or look up what a good
Dad looks like if you don’t know. God is a Perfect Father. He loves us
unconditionally, even when we return to Him after going astray. He knows how
and when to discipline us, and He has our best interests in mind even though it
doesn’t feel like it all the time. He knows everything, including the bigger
picture and He wants me to trust Him to help me do life. I have a great Earth
Dad, but he can’t be perfect because no one can! We all make mistakes! My Earth
Dad used to keep things from my knowledge or tell me I couldn’t do something I WANTED
to do. Do you think it was because he hated my guts? Heck no! It was BECAUSE HE
LOVED ME that he did and does these things (I still seek counsel from him!).
Have a spouse or want one? Some people like living the
single life. I think to myself sometimes how nice it would be to have a best
friend and husband to share my life with. I may get that, I may not. I will
tell you one thing though. I can sit in perfect contentment at a coffee shop by
myself or dinner. I am okay with not having someone to text me every morning or
welcome me home. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having those things,
but I realize that since I met Jesus and let Him into my heart, I am more
content. He is always with me, and I can’t explain in words how I don’t feel
lonely anymore and when I do, I know I can call on Him and can’t imagine how I
would live life without Him.
What about a brother? I have always wanted a brother. I have
a lot of adoptive brothers I gathered from being in the Marine Corps. It is nice
to be able to pick some of your siblings 😊 I was blessed to experience the friendship
of a brother through those men I served with. Jesus is my Brother too and He
defends me and loves me just like good brothers do.
So maybe you are thinking I am saying, live alone, don’t
ever expect anyone to make you happy. I am NOT saying that. What I AM saying is
that God fills those gaps we feel, and we must make Him our source of joy. He
provides us people in our lives that love us and He uses them to bless us and
guide us with His Holy Spirit. Friends are a gift. I feel that God hand picks
all the people in our lives as we walk through our journey.
I encourage you to research codependency and realize areas where
you may be putting yourself at risk for heart break unnecessarily. Some who don’t
believe in God, we will reference your “Higher Power” like they say in
recovery. I was that way. Codependent. Upset that no one was making me happy. I
call myself a recovering codependent people pleaser fixer upper. I realized how
unfair it was to make someone else responsible for my happiness and source of
joy only when someone had put the expectation on me, and of course I let them
down because I am not perfect.
A perfect God loves imperfect me. He is my joy. When I am
satisfied in Him, I am completely satisfied, and my soul doesn’t hunger for
empty things in the world to fill the God sized hole in my heart. It is a daily
surrender. I don’t do it perfectly and that is why I need Jesus.
Lord, my All
in All,
Help me to
seek you when my soul is unsatisfied. Help me to feel whole in you and I thank
you that you love me even though I mess up. I praise you and thank you that you
are a loving God that does not seek to harm me, but instead, wants the absolute
best for me. Help me to surrender my expectations but hold healthy boundaries,
as these are ways you have given us to lead lives that are pleasing to you. In Jesus’
name I pray,
Amen.
